Why you need to face criticism and rejection

Have you ever given up on a dream, or even a hobby, because you thought you weren’t talented enough?

We’re often our own harshest critic, but that criticism doesn’t always need to be negative. To help your criticism be effective, however, you need to take a step back, distance yourself from the work in question and look at it from a new perspective.

Leonardo da Vinci recommended this. He would set up a mirror so that he could look at a reflection of his latest painting. This offered da Vinci, quite literally, a new perspective; seeing the reverse image in the mirror allowed him to be objective and judge a painting as though he were seeing it for the first time.

Even walking away to look at your work from a distance can allow you to see things in a new light, and it doesn’t only apply to paintings. Athletes and performers all use video and audio recordings after a game or show to pick out weaknesses that otherwise might go unnoticed.


Taking some time away from your work is another recommended way of gaining perspective.


Put down the pen or paintbrush and let your work rest for an hour – or even several days, if you can. When you return to it, you’ll find that you can now judge it with greater accuracy. Many writers follow this advice and will even set up different periods of time for writing and editing.

The poet Maya Angelou worked in two different phases: the first phase was during the day, when she would try to write at least twelve pages over a six-hour period. The second phase started hours later. From 8:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., she’d edit the day’s work into the three or four pages that were worth keeping.


Your inner critic can work with you, rather than against you.


There are many self-help books that demonize creative people’s inner critic, the voice within us that loves to criticize our own work. This voice often gets cast as a destructive force that can prevent us from ever being creative.

But your inner critic doesn’t have to get in the way. In fact, it can be a great friend and ally.

After all, your inner critic is the one who pushes you to keep working and reworking until you’ve reached the best possible outcome. For the musician and producer Mike Monday, the difference between a good producer and a great producer is the ability to recognize the difference between high-quality and low-quality work. Drawing this distinction wouldn’t be possible without your inner critic.

The reason the inner critic gets a bad rap is because it can get overcritical before you’ve even begun, and this can convince you to not even bother trying. But if you befriend your inner critic, you can prevent this scenario from playing out.

For example, if you notice that your inner critic is getting too negative, ask, “What do I need to do differently?” This forces the voice to be constructive rather than unhelpful, and you can use this feedback to make your work better.

Likewise, if the inner critic starts speaking up too early, when you’re only in the planning phase, tell it something like, “I hear you but I’m going to ignore you for now. We’ll talk later when there’s work to look at. Don’t worry, I won’t submit anything without going over it with you.”

Also, make sure your inner critic voices opinions and isn’t trying to convince you of absolute truths. The criticism should be focused on precise problems, and it should always be respectful.

If your inner critic is breaking these rules, don’t just take it – talk back! Tell it that, if it isn’t constructive, you won’t listen at all.


Close your eyes and think about the word “success.” What feelings and images does the word conjure up?

It’s helpful to understand your preconceptions about success, because different people relate to it in different ways. And how you think about it will affect the way you pursue your dreams. People generally perceive success in three different ways, and only one of them is positive.

  1. The first way to think of success is as something that’s superficial and morally reprehensible. This perspective recognizes the money and the luxury, but it also sees greed and corruption.
  2. The second way of viewing success is as something that’s far out of your reach. It’s like a mountain summit that only a select few can reach – but certainly not you. As you can see, this isn’t a motivating point of view.
  3. Then there’s the healthy way of seeing success: as the act of achieving something great, whether it’s creating inspirational art, inventing a life-changing product or empowering people to be better. With this perspective on success, you can keep yourself on the right path.


So, if you’re thinking negative thoughts about success, now’s the time to change those ideas.


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Anyone can pursue their dreams, so start experimenting to expand your confidence.


If you’ve ever believed that you’re not smart enough, brave enough or rich enough to pursue your dreams, it’s time to think again.

The only quality necessary to go after that dream is a willingness to work hard. For some reason, many people believe there are specific qualities that a person must possess to pursue certain professions, but this is a misconception. We’ll often think a politician or actor must be an outgoing extrovert, but this is far from reality. The truth is that you don’t even need that much confidence before you begin pursuing your dream.

When you start expanding your ideas about what’s possible, your confidence will also grow. And you can start expanding by experimenting.



If there are things you want to do, but you don’t feel capable of doing them, write each thing down on a piece of paper, along with the reason you think you can’t do it. Is it impossible because of something you lack? Do you not have enough empathy, courage, intelligence or physical strength? Whatever it is, write it down.

Now you’re ready to start the experiment.

Imagine you have one of the particular qualities you believe you lack, pick something off the list and do something related to that impossibility.

Perhaps you think you could never be an Olympic-level mountain biker. Well, how about you start by fixing up that bike sitting in your garage? The more small steps you take, the more confidence you’ll gain and the closer that dream will be.

It’s time to move past the fears of rejection and criticism and to start enjoying the adventures that life can provide. Get out there and start living!


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And why!

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Resilience is not an elusive quality that some people have and others lack. It’s a practice that you can build by refusing to give up, despite the rejection and criticism you encounter. We all have the capacity for resilience. And, by cultivating it, you can discover your true passion and pursue it, even when the odds seem to be stacked against you.


To sum-up: Keep track of your progress.

If you’re a writer, keep track of the number of words you write a day. Decide for yourself how many quality words or pages you need to write per day in order to feel good about your efforts. It doesn’t matter what you do – what’s important is to track it. Remember, success comes one step at a time.


I will start with writing the book, I already want to write for a long time, and will keep you posted along the way.  One good questions to all of you….

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Tell us below ??

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Lets do this!

Love xXx

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